


Useless

by Purplefern



Series: Twins -- A Human|Squip AU [9]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Be More Chill Chicago got cancelled and now I'm upset, Crying, Gen, Hugs, Human Jeremy Heere's Squip, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Titles, Jeremy Heere's Squip Uses They/Them Pronouns, Platonic Relationships, but maybe you need that too?, honestly I don't even know if I should post this, literally it's just Squip cries and gets hugs, so so is the Squip, that's the story, vain attempts to make this story matter at the end, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24682234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplefern/pseuds/Purplefern
Summary: Squip has a bad day.
Relationships: Jeremy Heere & Jeremy Heere's Squip
Series: Twins -- A Human|Squip AU [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701745
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	Useless

**Author's Note:**

> The tags said a lot of my notes for me, but yeah. This wasn't a planned story for this AU just a spur of the moment vent. Kinda a rehash of Adapting honestly. I'm not too sure why I'm even posting this.

“I don’t need your help” snapped Jeremy when they commented on his behavior in the hallway. Normally they’d wave it off but today the harsh retort stung. Instead of arguing, they were shocked to silence. 

At lunch they were still tense, so they offered to help Michael with some calculations when he was frantically filling in his math homework before the class could start. 

“Thanks but no thanks, Mr Roboto” he replied, which left them confused and disappointed. They became aware of a vague staticy feeling in their head, and the slightest sensation of their throat tightening. They couldn’t understand why, and did their best to ignore it. 

It only stayed, building throughout the day, getting worse when they somehow answered a question  _ wrong  _ in the last class. By the time they were walking home, they felt on-edge and fragile. Everything felt out to get them, and they couldn’t understand why. This had been a fairly good week, there was no reason for them to be so upset. They should be happy so why did they feel ready to break down at the slightest breeze? Human emotions made no sense, it was all so frustrating. 

When they walked into the kitchen to the sight of Mr Heere cooking, almost desperately they offered their assistance. 

“I got it, bud” he cheerily replied, which only made the static louder. 

They implored him again, “Please?” they practically begged, suddenly longing fiercely to be  _ needed.  _

He gave them an apologetic half-smile, “This is really a one-person job. I don’t need any help”. They grew tenser than ever, turning away from him to head upstairs, their throat tighter than before and a subtle throbbing pain moving to their forehead. They just wanted to help. They just wanted to be useful. Why was everything and everyone being so awful? 

Entering their/Jeremy’s bedroom, they instantly latched onto the sight of him hunched over a textbook, pencil tapping thoughtfully against his chin. Without announcing their presence, with a desperate need to do something constructive and useful, they stood next to the bed and hovered over the question, telling him exactly what to do for the problem. 

“I didn’t ask for your help” Jeremy snorted, writing down the answer anyway. This fact went unnoticed by Squip, who had flinched back as though Jeremy had shouted at them. 

They just wanted to  _ help _ why would no one let them  _ help _ ? Was their advice just that useless? 

The word and all its connotations to the ex-computer was too much, and it broke them. Their glass composure, which had grown weaker all day finally shattered, and tears poured out of their eyes. Hand held over their mouth, even now hoping to somewhat hide their weakness and breakdown, they sank to the ground, sobs pouring out of them and unable to hold back anymore. 

“No one will let me help!” they found themself saying between sobs, hunching over further and moving to wrap their arms around themself, finally figuring out why they had grown more and more stressed all day. “I’m useless!” soon followed as they shook their head, and they repeated the statement over and over, each time the phrase growing more incomprehensible. 

Because they were. Obviously something was wrong with them. They couldn’t do anything for anyone, and they never could. They had been useless as a SQUIP and now they were useless as a human. “No one wants me” they said, or thought? They weren’t sure anymore, too lost in their own drowning misery, not sure anymore if the voices were from inside or out. They had lost place of where they were, they only thing still certain the powerful despair that rolled through them. 

But then a sound cut through the thick muffling blanket of misery, a sound that they had been trained, evolved, engineered to notice. A stifled heartbeat made its way to their ears, bringing with it images, memories, of  _ safe structure order functioning _ . It was an anchor, bringing them back to reality enough to realize that someone else’s arms had wrapped around their shoulders. Opening their eyes -- they didn’t recall even closing them-- they blinked, bringing a colorful striped shirt into view. They sat there a moment longer, looking at the familiar pattern, listening to the heartbeat, the world slowly coming back to clarity. 

“Hey” soon came a gentle but unsure voice, one that finally, certainly, came from outside their head, “It’s okay”. 

“Jeremy?” they questioned, throat sore, shifting to sit up straighter and the world finally coming fully back to normal, and they realized that both of them were sitting on the floor in their room and Jeremy had pulled them into a hug at some point. 

Jeremy released his embrace, moving his arms so that they held Squip’s shoulders and he leaned back to look at them, while they stared somewhat embarrassedly back. He gave them a crooked smile, remarking, “Feeling better, then?” 

“Y-yes” they, in a rare moment, stuttered back, trying to figure out what had happened, “I think so”. 

At that Jeremy finally let go of them, but kept sitting next to them. They rubbed at their eyes and desperately wished for a tissue as they sniffled to try and recover from their crying. They felt...better, lighter, but also confused at why they had felt so sad in the first place. 

Jeremy must have shared this sentiment, because he leveled them with a worried look, and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I’m honestly not sure what there is to talk about. I have no idea why I was so upset” they told him, blinking bewilderedly and still trying to regain their bearings. 

Jeremy hummed understandingly, replying sagely, “Stress” 

They turned their bewildered look to him, echoing, “Stress? Over what? I can’t recall anything particularly upsetting happening” 

He shifted his position, sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him, leaning against the side of his bed as he explained, “It probably wasn’t one big thing. Sometimes you just feel all the crap from a bunch of little things all at once.” 

“A delayed response” they mused, swiping at their eyes once again to get rid of all of the remaining tears that lingered there. 

He nodded. “Yeah, kinda”. Frowning slightly, he told them in a seeming non-sequitur, “You know we all like you, right? We don’t think you’re useless”. 

They were going to ask what that had to do with anything, until they remembered what they had actually said. Well, that was confirmation that they had said most of that out loud. They were almost embarrassed, and felt the need to explain themself, “I’m sure you don’t. I just...  _ feel  _ useless sometimes”. Taking a deep breath, they elaborated, “Though you like to remind me that I’m human and it doesn’t matter anymore, the fact remains that I was created with the sole purpose of advising and helping my user. Having so many people reject my assistance bothers me greatly. I suppose, as you said, it just built up over a length of time”. Looking down at their feet, they started to play with the hem of their shirt before becoming aware of the fidget and stilling their hands. Quieter, they added, “Losing most of my SQUIP abilities doesn’t help this feeling of uselessness”. 

Jeremy sat silently for a long moment and they started to wonder if they shouldn’t have said so much. Jeremy shouldn’t have to worry about them, after all. They shouldn't have bothered him with this. Before they could think to apologize and tell him to ignore all of that, he turned to them, smiling again, “Well, do you want to help me with my homework? I’m on calc and could probably use it”. 

They felt their own face stretch into a smile at the suggestion. It was a nice change to have Jeremy asking for their assistance. So often he would just dismiss their attempts. They hadn’t realized until now how much that had hurt them, or how much it made them happy to have him agree to their advice. “Of course!” they replied, almost cheerily, a tone not often heard from them. 

  
  


Jeremy climbed back up onto his bed, and they followed after him. He looked at his once-abandoned textbook and grimaced. But he peeked back at Squip who was looking unnaturally cheerful at the prospect of math homework, and just shook his head and decided to deal with it. Maybe he was a little bit too harsh on them about liking “SQUIP” things, if this was how they felt about it. It wouldn’t hurt to let them help him with homework, if it made them happy. And it wouldn’t hurt his grades either. 

Sitting side-by-side, they spent the next hour over the textbook, by the end both of them smiling over math. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, well, thanks for reading this, whatever it was. Leave kudos, comments, etc, see you all when I have the next actually planned story done.


End file.
